And the name we have chosen is...

What a great weekend!  I was very lucky to have in my house some wonderful people - Jen and Dan arrived on Friday, Andrea and gorgeous Beth arrived on Saturday morning, lovely Caspar arrived Saturday evening and my mom was here as well. Jen and Dan, well you couldn't ask for a greater couple of step kids, each in a different way good company and great conversation.  Andrea I have know forever and feels like part of me, emotional support bar none.  Beth!  A little bundle of squidgy baby girl delight, casting her web of charm over everyone.  Caspar is the person I have known the longest in the UK, we don't talk for months at a time, but he has a very special place in my heart.  And my mom?  Kind, shy and generous, it is wonderful to have her visiting us.

All of these arrivals were in preparation for Tom's Naming Day on Sunday, followed by a bit of a party.  We had a delicious meal on Saturday with the addition of two more lovely people, John and Joan Hannah.  We have been visitors to their home in Liverpool many times and I can honestly say that I have never experienced the level of hospitality shown by this warm, wonderful couple anywhere else.

The lovely John Hannah

 We ate, we drank, we talked, we laughed, we passed the baby around!  And when this started to draw to close, Caspar and I put some shoes on and took him out to introduce him to the legendary Strip of Whitley Bay.  It was so good to spend some proper time with Caspar again, as the last few years have seen very few uninterrupted conversations as a result of small boys and their incessant need for attention!  

Caspar rocks Havannah ;-)

I did something very silly and added a cocktail and lager to the plentiful red wine I had consumed earlier -I was just so happy to have all these special people in my house, for my boy's naming day, it made me a bit giddy and bit reckless.  

I paid the price for it the next morning, looking grey and feeling sick as a dog.  At one point I was lying on the bed thinking I would feel better if I could just throw up and convinced I was going to have stay in bed while the ceremony went on without me.  But I battled through and eventually the restorative powers of tea and toast worked their magic, the doorbell started ringing and the show was on!

John, Daniel, Gail, Steve, Evelyn, Jen, Tanya, Sam and Tom

Steve and I with our "baby"!

Caspar interviews Tom

It was just plain wonderful.  The speeches and words dedicated to Tom were powerful and moving.  It was an emotional moment but I was keeping it together, until the lovely John Hannah, our reverend for the day said the words that I knew were coming, had helped to write even. 

"Steve and Tanya would like to take this opportunity to give recognition to their own parents.  Steve and Tanya have benefited in their upbringing from the love, encouragement and guidance from John, Evelyn, Peter and Gail."

As he said my dad's name it felt like I had been kicked, and tears filled my eyes.  It was that thought that is always lurking somewhere; my Tom is 4 years old now and was nearly 5 month old when my dad died.  They never got to meet each other, and that makes me ineffably sad.  It is nearly 4 years since my dad died and it still hurts so much.  I have been spending some time with my mom writing down a shortish version of her life story, and when we came to the part she was talking about her own mother's death, she still, 36 years later, filled up with tears.  So much for hoping that the passing of a parent gets easier with time.

Mom and I

But anyway, it was, as I said just plain wonderful.  Each godparent [Andrea, Richard (Steve's oldest friend), Gillian (Steve's sister who couldn't make the trip, and so asked her mum to read out the words she had sent) and Caspar] bought a little bit of themselves to the words they spoke for my boy and Sam finished us off with a joyful "I'd like to propose a toast to my lovely little brother Tom" and we all quaffed champagne.

Lovely Godparents - Richard, Caspar, Andrea and in loco godparentis (!) Evelyn

Once the informal formalities were over, some of our lovely friends and neighbours started to arrive to help us celebrate our strange little ceremony.  I was so happy to have most of my important people from Whitley Bay there with me. 



Yummy milk tarts



Jen and Beth




        

There was lots of food, including my mom's magnificent lamb stew, Andrea's delectable milk tarts and Evelyn's superlative trifle there was no shortage of booze.  The kids ate junk and drank coke, but mostly all got despite the disparity in ages and them not all knowing each other.  People talked, and ate and drank and laughed... and once again, passed the baby round!  



Jen and Cath



Tom, Beth and I





The 3 brothers



Tom was a little star, listening attentively to everything that was said to him.



The day was so special for so many reasons, the feeling of belonging and being cared for, wonderful, amazing people whose presence in my life fills me with joy and so many thoughtful, kind, powerful words wished for my little boy's future success and happiness.