Sleep, read or blog?

Steve set off yesterday to take the boys to Aunty Cath's for a sleepover.  The minute I shut the door the first thing I was aware of, was the silence - it was deafening.  I had a moment of missing them intensely, even though they had only just left, which sounds stupid, and I realised how daft it was as I felt it!  I had been really looking forward to having some couple time and some time off from being "Mummy", and despite Tom's tears when they left, I knew that they were going to have a great time with Cath and Mark, whom they both worship.  But I DID miss them and feel a bit at a loose end.  All the things I can't do when they are here I could now do - instead of which I was indecisively folding laundry while I tried to decide what to do!

The solution was right here; stick the telly on to provide some background noise,  make a large cup of tea and pair it with a plate of biscuits and catch up on some blogging.  And then have a nap to prepare myself for the party we were going to!

Tom and I were playing with his Tomica trains and track the other day.  We had built the track layout the previous day - Tom laying pieces randomly and me frantically trying to make all the ends join up - but he decided to move some of the bits so that suddenly some of the hills had disapeared from one place and reappered in two other places.  I commented that I didn't know if the trains would still work properly, fearing that they may get stuck as the track no longer lay smoothly (as it had when I was in charge... I'm just saying) but Tom had no such fears and assured me that it would work and he would demonstrate, to allay my fears.  Surprisingly, it did work, and Tom was elated and rather proud of his little self.  He jumped up and punched the air

"isn't it amazing mummy?
aren't I a genius?!"

It's his modesty that I really love.

Sam was on the computer on Friday, he was listening to some music on You Tube while surfing the web to find pictures of his favourite cars (influenced greatly by Top Gear) which he was then copying, pasting and labelling in a Word document.  Tom was taking a long time to eat his tea and to encourage him along I pointed out that when he had finished his meal, and washed his hands, he would be able to go on the computer.  He mentioned that he wanted to go on a particular 2-player game that he and I go on together, and I said that I couldn't play with him becasue I was cleaning up the kitchen,

 "but maybe you and Sam can go on Fireboy and Watergirl together?"

"can we Sam? You can be whoever you want to be"

"Tom there is a problem with that idea, what you have to remember is that we don't work together as a team very well..."

I think he is learning tact!

The heart Sam made me for Valentine's Day.  How sweet is that?

They had a fantastic time with Cath and Mark, and were apparently "good as gold" which is always a relief to hear - save the lousy behaviour for mum and dad!  But it was physical thrill to have them both back in my arms and so lovely to hear their excited jumble of words as they told me all about their wonderful sleepover - my delight in seeing them only wore off after about an hour when they started to trying to kill each other...

Birthday Wishes

Today is my wonderful sister's birthday. 

 When I spoke to her in the week she explained what a frantically busy day she was going to having, involving all those stereotypical mother jobs, like fetching and carrying children from place to place, from one activity to another as well as cleaning her house in preparation for buyers to come and view it.  She said that she was hoping that at least she wouldn't have to cook supper tonight!  So I realised that I wasn't going to have the opportunity to talk to her on her birthday, and I thought I would wish her through this medium. 

I hope you've had a great day La, despite all your jobs!  And I hope that you had a lovely supper made/bought for you.  And I hope that your birthday card arrived in time.  And I hope, very much, that not too much time will elapse before I get to see you again in real life, and not just through skype!

   

                                          

The Family Malan

On the 20th of February the newest member of my family is due to arrive with the birth of my third nephew (6 grandchildren my Mom will have, only 1 is a girl!) to Anton and Julie.  My lovely sister in law, Jules was humongously pregnant when I saw her in the middle of January and the baby's due date was only early March!  She was just all BUMP and horrible discomfit in the height of the Cape summer and very relieved that a Cesarean means that she wont have to go full term. 

Anton and Julie are a very hardworking couple and despite everything, had decided that they needed their living room and dining room painted, and sharpish, in time for the new curtains that were coming.  The fact that Anton was going to try and get it all done in one weekend, but also had to attend a braai at his bosses house on the saturday night, meant that Mom and I leapt into the breach and got our painting rags on.  It has to be said that Ant did the most of it, worked his arse off, and got it all done (just in time for another full week of work!), but Mom and I did what we could to help.  

James will be 3 in May, and is such a little cutie.  I was lucky enough to be able to spend some time with him, one on one, as I offered to have him for a sleepover  - selfishly, so I could spoil him and cuddle him and read to him, and do all those things that I would if we lived nearby, and selflessly so that Ant and Jules could have some much needed couple time.  The first night was absolutely fine, until it came to sleep time, and then he really struggled to settle.  I was lying on the bed with him (he had decided he wanted to sleep with me rather than in his own bed), as he explained how he was going to get up and put his clothes on, and then walk home to daddy!  Bless him, he was most insistent that he was going to his house, but eventually I bored him to sleep with my own very long version of the 3 little pigs, and he was asleep by 10pm.  His sleep was very unsettled though, and he tossed and turned all night - so much so that at one point he threw himself off the bed!  He woke up at about 7:45, and was raring to go almost immediately -  a lot like my own little Tom, zero to full throttle in seconds!  Despite his reluctance to actually sleep that first time, he was still very keen to come back for another night a week later, and it was amazing the difference.  The early part of the evening was, again, great fun as we played and built a meccano break down truck (the first time was a crane) and this time bed time was much easier.  He was unwilling to sleep but this time it was much more down to his desire for more stories than wanting to go home, but once again I bored him to sleep - with an even longer version of the 3 little pigs (this time they all ended up being friends, living in a village together and doing various chores for each other...).  When I was younger I never would have imagined that in my life I would not know my niece and nephews, and they would not know me.

My ability to build meccano vehicles gives me major street cred!

So who knows how old my new nephew will be before I get to meet him, but I hope that when I do, I will get the chance to get to know him in the same way that those brief, intense times allowed me to do with James.  It was so wonderful to spend time with Anton, Jules and Mom as well.  And that is what makes a trip to SA on my own so worthwhile, because if I was there with my own family, there is no way I would be able to devote myself to my brother's family and my mother. 
Bittersweet.  Always bittersweet.

Wowee Cape Town!

Wowee. That was a 2 week visit to Cape Town that seems to have gone at break neck speed. Even catching up with friends happened to coincide with other activities or jobs, to make best use of time. I finally caught up with the gorgeous Wendy Theron on the phone (while trying to sort out some laptop issues for mom), after a couple of years of trying various internet based routes at home. She sounded just the same, with an effervescent laugh in her voice; I could just picture how she looked as she spoke. My lovely friend is definitely one of the best things I gained at university in Grahamstown all those years ago, and hopefully with new email addresses swapped, we will stay in touch.



I was also lucky enough to spend 4 days with my lovely friend Shelley who flew from Durban to spend time with me. Shelley was a massive help in sorting some stuff out for mom with me, and helping us get some jobs done – if she hadn’t have been there I would never have got as much achieved as I did, although even then I left a lot undone. But the most important part of Shel’s visit was that we actually spent 2 days behaving like tourists! If she hadn’t have come, my mom and I would have worked away like little beavers, as it was we got to spend 2 days travelling on the open top buses seeing the sights, hearing the sounds and smelling the smells of Cape Town.

There is something about this place. The last time I was here, for about 5 days this time last year helping mom move, I felt it as well. The city seduces me. I visit, and before long I am imagining my little family and I living there. Okay, I will admit I have never been there for winter, but hey, I live in the North East of England, I’m sure I could take what Cape Town had to throw at me! There is just something about the place – it feels, in a strange way, like a mix of the two places that are home to me, South Africa and England.

Beach side of Camps Bay

Mountain side of Camps Bay

Stunning Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens

The weather was amazing, and such a welcome relief after the brrrrrr of Whitley Bay! I didn’t really get much time to soak up the sunshine, but it was just so nice to strip off the layers, expose my pale flesh (nice for me, of course, not so for the poor people who had to witness it!) and pad around bare foot. Mom and I got a lot done, including removing her clunky old pc and replacing it with a sleek laptop. I kept all the stuff on it to a minimum so that mom wasn’t overwhelmed when she switched it on – my main aim was to get her feeling competent enough to be able to check and send emails and to use Skype to see and talk to us and Lara’s family. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked – perhaps I just wasn’t there for long enough for Mom to feel one hundred per cent sure of what she had to do, but I must admit to feeling a bit disappointed that all the work we put in seems to have come to nought.


Hey ho and moving on.

I was very lucky and got to see quite a lot of Anton, the hugely pregnant Jules and my delectable nephew, James!  (But more of them in another post...)

Coming home was accompanied by a tumultuous mess of mixed emotions. So pleased to be going home - to see Steve, to give my boys nonstop cuddles but also so sad to be saying goodbye to my mom, Anton and his family.

Living cross continents from family sucks.