Lets talk about guns baby

I have to confess that I have gone against my principles.


After six and a half years of insisting that I will not allow my sons to own toy guns, we have given in.


But, wait, let me explain!  We live on a street which is pedestrianised and has loads of neighbourhood children.  This is great because the kids play out a lot - we have two boys next door to us, ages 6 and 8; we have two boys across from us ages 6 and 10/12 ish; another two boys a couple of houses down, ages 6 and 9, as well as four girls ages 5 to 8.  All the boys play out together, sometimes on bikes or on scooters, but often with guns.  Whenever the guns come out you can guarantee that within a little while Sam will be indoors either sobbing because the other boys won't let him play because he doesn't have a gun , or stomping because he is angry that he can't play with them because he doesn't have a gun.


It finally wore me down.  I felt so badly for him, that my principles were the reason that he was being left out.  And I really didn't know what to do about it.  I didn't want to give in to the peer pressure of a bunch of kids because I am fairly sure that without the influence of the kids on our street Sam would not have asked for a gun of his own accord.  He never showed any interest until the games involving guns caused him to be left out.  I hate watching little boys pointing guns at each other and pretending to kill them.  But research also shows that little boys will always want to play with guns, and even without pieces of gun shaped plastic, will make their hands into gun shapes.  "Bang bang, you're dead".


So Steve and I talked about it after a particularly tear filled afternoon (one of the boys had lent him a gun and one of the other boys had changed the rules and said that you had to have two guns to play) and we agreed that we would let him have a gun.


Gulp.


Feelings of betrayal of principles.  But confused because they are my principles, not his and my principles were causing him to suffer 3 or 4 times a week.  And surely that's not right?  But maybe I am just trying to justify giving in to the popular vote.


Oh but the happiness of the little dude when he got back from the shops with his dad, holding tightly onto his plastic machine gun, with the ratatat and associated juddering motions.  When the neighbourhood kids came knocking "is Sam playing out?" and he shouted out, "just going to get my gun" and he swaggered out, filled with pride and a sense of belonging.


Anyway, yesterday we were at Poundstretchers, both of my boys clutching their savings in their hot hands.  Sam looked carefully at the available guns after explaining that he had seen one that came with a compass that he wanted, it was £4.99 and wasn't that good because he had £5 and was going to get a penny change  (genuinely excited about that change!).  And when we left, it was Tom who had a new gun (small hand gun, no accessories, £1.99 - and look, a penny change!) and Sam who was empty handed.


This did give me a budding sense of optimism - it wasn't just guns for the sake of guns that would make my lad happy.  He wanted a whole experience, and if the experience that he wanted wasn't available, he wasn't going to get just any old gun.  

So with Tom's gun, we are now a 2 gun family and I eavesdropped as the boys ran upstairs to play with them.  A complicated game unfolded that actually involved very little shooting.  It did involve sleeping bags, a shopping trolley, back packs and a host of soft toys... lots of imagination, but very little violence.

Hurrah!